Self and System?

  • pink ring-01
  • orange
  • pale
  • violet-01
I founded Self and System in 2019 after 10 years of working as a coach and trainer with business leaders and team-members.
In that time I worked successfully with these individuals – they improved their skillsets in communication, influencing, emotional intelligence and other interpersonal aspects of leadership. It was brilliant to see them flourish as team members, leaders, and as people.
And yet, the flourishing only seemed to go so far.
I noticed that when these people went back into their businesses, families and communities, their flourishing was sometimes inhibited by the ‘relational system’ they were part of.  The system has a sort of status quo that is hard to change by just one person. So I realised: if we want to create change at work or at home, both self AND system need to grow. 
I spent 2 years training in Organisation and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC) and now focus on relationship coaching – for professional and personal relationships. I have more than 200 client hours behind me and I am accredited by the International Coaching Federation as an Associate Certified Coach. I uphold the ICF code of ethics in all my coaching work. 

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

Harriet Lerner

What Actually is
Relationship Coaching?

You may have heard of coaching as a one to one process. Systems or relationship coaching focuses on two or more people (a human ‘relational system’) and explores the ‘we’ rather than the ‘I’. I treat your relationship (team or personal) as my client. This is important as it means I am not partial to any one individual but rather I am championing the relationship itself. I believe the relationship has intelligence that you as people within it might not be aware of. My job as your relationship coach is to reveal this to you so you can make choices about how you want it to be in the future. This systemic approach de-focuses the personal, so it’s no longer about who’s to blame, but instead I ask, what is the relationship wanting? People can speak more freely as they know their contribution represents some aspect of the system as a whole.

Is Relationship Coaching Therapy?

It is not therapy. Nor is it counselling; relationship coaching does not examine or diagnose the past. It instead looks at the present and sets personal and collective goals, for change to happen in the future. (please note, if I feel you or your relationship would benefit from therapy or some other intervention instead, I will be clear with you about this.)
Take a look at the TEAMS page or COUPLES page for how all this works in practice and what you might get out of relationship coaching.
For more about me and my qualifications take a look at how I work.

I would recommend Jess to others – she is a wonderful warm individual who I think has a talent at bringing out the best in people. 

Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine