Couples + Partnerships
‘Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.’
Margaret Wheatley
Jess’s assurance, warmth and authenticity created a relaxed ambiance and we generated new insights regarding our relationship, swept out some dusty corners, recognised and affirmed our existing strengths and resources, and took some really positive and tangible actions. We really enjoyed working with Jess, and found the sessions stimulating and nourishing.
Relationship coaching is not about fixing a ‘broken’ relationship
I coach romantic couples as well as other sort of partnerships; business partners, siblings, neighbours and even friends.
Systemic coaching is not about fixing a ‘broken’ relationship – after all, we don’t wait for our cars to break down before we take them to the garage. We give them regular MOTs. So why not keep our relationships in check with regular injections of connection and positivity?
That way we might be more ready to deal with tougher times, should they come.
Systemic coaching is also not therapy or counselling; coaching does not examine or diagnose the past. It instead looks at the present and sets personal and collective goals, for change to happen in the future. (please note, if I feel you or your relationship would benefit from therapy or some other intervention instead, I will be clear with you about this.)
We meet for an exploratory, no-obligation chat (via online video) to identify what it is you’d like to get out of this work and for us to get a sense of each other.
I usually work with couples for 6 sessions over 4 – 8 months. Although some have only committed to 3 sessions and some I am still seeing over a year later!
Some of the reasons couples or partnerships have sought out this work are:
- They have had a child (or second or third) and are figuring out what It means for their relationship
- They are dealing with other big life changes – redundancy, illness, career changes or marriage
- They are struggling to maintain a relationship over long distance or are growing apart for other reasons
- They are facing unexpected pressures and challenges in a business setting
- They have been thrown together and need to be able to work effectively together
- They want to get back some of ‘what they had’ at the beginning of the relationship (a common request from couples and other sorts of partnerships)
The system identifies the outcomes and we work towards them through experiential and interactive exercises. These outcomes might be:
- New and effective ways to communicate
- More empathy and understanding
- A sense of unity, of ‘we-ness’
- To be able to navigate change or difficult situations together
- Clarity around roles and responsibilities
- To identify shared values or purpose
- Practical strategies to handle conflict
Sessions are usually 75 minutes long, online or face to face. Fees depend on whether the organisation or private individuals are paying and I do hold some space back for lower income relationships. Drop me an email and let’s chat.
Working with Jess as a coach leading up to our marriage has been a deeply nourishing and hugely enjoyable experience. Highly recommended. Thank you so much Jess!
